Have you ever felt that way? Intimidated? It can feel pretty intense sometimes huh. Yea, I don’t like it too much either. How about we talk about that today, and won’t let things intimidate us in the present and the future as we have in the past?
Oh, but let me ask you… How have you been doing since the last blog? How is the journey going for you so far? What things have been going great? What not so much? Let me know in the comments section below…
Okay, back to where we left off…
The Emotion of ‘Intimidated’
To feel intimidated… What does that even mean? You see, the word intimidation is a pretty big word. When feeling intimidated, it holds you back from a lot of good things in life. And it’s hard to just explain it in a couple of sentences. We automatically knew what intimidation felt like at a pretty early stage in our life, without even knowing what it really actually is, or means.
When you feel intimidated, you usually feel afraid. You’re in some way scared. Something is freighting you in that moment. It could be something someone said to you. Perhaps it’s this big, huge object you’re standing in front of. There are so many things that can be intimidating. In that moment, you feel alarmed. It maybe makes you feel a little nervous, and perhaps make your heartbeat just a little bit faster. You feel caught in a moment where you are uncomfortable.
In the moment when we feel intimidated, we have the tendency to completely freeze, or we simply run because it’s the easy way to get away from it. The problem is, when we don’t face the fear, and cause of that intimidation we become victims to it. It’s easier to just do what that person tells us, and become a people pleaser, than to stand our grounds, and saying no to what we don’t feel comfortable with. That’s when you have to ask yourself… Where has this all started? Was it a traumatic moment in the past, where you had to go with it in order to survive?
Why People Use Intimidation
I’m sure you’ve experienced someone using intimidation on you before. It is cruel. It is not fair, and is cold-hearted. Intimidation is being used to manipulate, to control, to get what they want by bulling. Think about it for a moment… when you were intimidated by someone in the past, what did they use to intimidate you? And why? When you were little, was it a bigger, older or taller person, in order for them to get that extra candy you were saving? That’s manipulation. Did they say they would beat you up unless you would give them what they wanted?
Intimidation can happen in any relationship. There are so many people dating, and marrying manipulative people. There are children under the authority of very intimidating parents, and it is not fair. But until you are willing to face that intimidating feeling, you keep running from it. And as long as you keep running, you will continue doing whatever is asked of you, and that’s not a healthy solution. It’s not what you want for yourself, and it’s not good for yourself.
Once you start valuing yourself, you start realizing that being intimidated and going with that emotion can cause you to make irrational choices and decisions. Decisions that you don’t even want to make. You give the control of your choices to someone else. And you don’t want that any longer, because you will continue living your life for someone else. You won’t be able to truly discover yourself. And truly enjoy the journey… because you’re running someone else’s journey instead of yours.
Objects VS. People… How To Deal With It…
Now, how can you face intimidation? How can you break lose from that control that’s been keeping a hold of you, and some of the choices you made? As mentioned earlier, intimidation is a fear. In order to overcome a fear, you have to face it. I used to have a huge fear of the dark. I couldn’t stand being in a complete dark space. It was really intimidating. But I didn’t want to be afraid of it anymore, so I started facing it, with small little steps. The first couple of nights I would turn the light off, and tried to just be in the dark area for a couple of seconds… only as many as I could do, and be okay with. Once I was more comfortable with it, I would make it to 15-20 seconds, and so on. Now, I can be in the dark, with no problem at all. But it took practice, a willing heart, and strong mind on it.
When it comes to people, it’s a little bit different. When it comes to intimidation caused by people, you have to practice way ahead of time before you face a person that intimidates you. You have to prepare yourself and your mind to have the strength to do it. Because if you don’t, you simply run or freeze again, and start all over… and it will become a never ending cycle. But that’s not what you’re trying to do, to get stuck in that cycle… No, you’re trying to break free from that intimidation they are and have been causing you to feel.
You Have the Strength… Put it to Use
Start by telling yourself that you can do it. Look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you can do this! You have the strength and ability that it takes to do this. No longer are you allowing an intimidating person to control you, your actions, or having them tell you to do something you simply do not want to do, or is not your duty to do. It will start building up strength inside of you.
Next, think about what you want to say, and practice it on other people. Please know, this is just a practice. If things don’t come out the exact way you thought of, or wanted to come out as, it’s completely okay. Don’t be mad at yourself for that. People always respond in different ways and manners, that’s completely out of your control. This should just simply give you an idea of what you would like to be said when the moment comes.
Practice in small situations… How many times have you paid and left a restaurant without saying anything when you didn’t receive everything you wanted? Or when the foods were not cooked like you asked them to? How many times have you driven through a drive-through when your coffee didn’t have the extra whip you specifically asked for? Those are situations you can start practicing to stand up for yourself. Do so.
Speak firmly from your heart. Since the beginning of the journey of these blogs, we concluded that it’s time to put yourself first. So when the moment comes, speak firmly keeping in mind that you are doing this, because it’s time to put yourself first. What is best for you?
The Action
Alrighty… let’s conclude with this… This week I want you to focus on moments when you feel intimidated. Whether it’s from a person, or from a situation, or a big object, or whatever else is causing it. Think about it for a moment, and focus on it. If you don’t have time to right then and there, write yourself a little note that you’ll get to look at later on. Then think about where perhaps that root of that intimidating moment is coming from. Is it actually really that person, that moment, that object? Or is it something from the past that is time to be faced? Get to the root of the problem. Next, think about whether it’s something you can face on right here, right now, or is it something that needs a little bit of practice and time to face? Then, decide if it is something you want to break free from… and if so, what steps do you need to take to prepare yourself in order to face it, and break free from?! That is it for this week 😊 Keep pushing… You can do this! And we’ll talk again 😊
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