Being Both, an Introvert & Extrovert

Have you been asked before, ‘Are you an introvert or an extrovert?’. That is such a common question so many of us are being asked daily. But why are we constantly being boxed up into one or the other? Why do we have to choose one side or the other? You see, the truth is that we don’t. We could have characteristics and attributes of both. There could be a healthy balance between both of them. We just don’t know it if we don’t understand the concept of what introvert and extrovert actually really means. So today, let’s look into that a little bit deeper, and make some new discoveries about ourselves with it.

It’s interesting… Introvert and extrovert are just simple personality types. You don’t have to be one or the other, you can be very well anywhere in between those two. An introvert recharges best when they are on its own. Someone that’s introverted often comes off as a ‘shy’ person, but that’s not always true… Sometimes that’s just how they are perceived by the people around them. An introvert likes activities such as reading and writing better, than going out skating with a bunch of strangers.

The Introvert vs. The Extrovert

You can recognize a more introverted person by paying attention to how and whether they share emotions. An introvert prefers keeping them more private. Oftentimes they have a small circle of close friends. When they are around a large group of people, or people they don’t know, they tend to be pretty reserved. An introvert processes many of their thoughts in their head, rather than speaking them out. An introvert can be very observant. But please know, when an introvert gets around the people they know, they can be just a sociable as an extrovert.

To the extrovert… Extroverts love being around people. An extrovert can walk up to a complete stranger, and start a random conversation while being comfortable doing so. As a matter of fact, an extrovert feeds it’s energy off situations like those oftentimes. Extroverts are known as pretty talkative. An extrovert likes (and even seeks) the attention. The extrovert is pretty outgoing and very sociable. Usually, a general extrovert prefers to talk, rather than to write. (Which isn’t always true… look at me 😊, I’m writing a blog here, and I’m an extrovert for the most part 😉).

Can You Make it Work?

When an introvert and extrovert get into a relationship with each other, it can either be absolutely amazing, or completely terrible. What that depends on is whether the people involved are patient with each other, invest into understanding each other, and communicate. The cool thing is, it can be an extravagant adventure with each other. It’s like going into a different country, and trying food you’ve never tried before. You don’t want to miss out on that. When investing time to see things from another person’s perspective, it can give you brand new revelations, and you can learn brand new things from it. It’s phenomenal, give it a shot.

Whether you’re more an introvert vs. an extrovert impacts behavior, because it influences the way you respond to things. With different tests and much research done in the past, it was affirmed that extroverts are the more happy people, while the introverts are the more intelligent. The introverts performed amazing when it came to academic intelligence, while the extrovert did best when it came to emotional intelligence. The extrovert did a lot better with music in the background, while the introvert needed complete silence to focus and do well.

Physical Traits of an Introvert & Extrovert

There has been so much different research on the brains of introverts and extroverts, and many differences have been revealed. That’s what makes this so exciting. You are you! You are so unique, so special, so amazing and so valuable just the way you are. If you are more of an introvert than an extrovert, that is really amazing. If you are more of an extrovert than an introvert, that’s just as amazing. And if you are right in the middle, that is super cool too. Don’t feel like you have to or become one more than the other. No! Be you, just as you are. Love it, and let others discover you that way. If they don’t respect it, then don’t allow them to be in your inner circle. That’s when setting boundaries is so important.

In general, an introvert doesn’t accept change very easily, while an extrovert accepts it much easier. When it comes to communication, an introvert has no problem communicating with a person they know and trust, while an extrovert talks to pretty much anyone crossing their path (that’s not always a good thing…). It is also proven that an extrovert gets distracted easily (uuuhhh, butterfly!), while the introvert has no problem focusing for a while.

From the Pros to the Cons

After saying all that, let’s look at the not so fun part of this. The dangers of each. Introverts like to isolate themselves to recharge, and that is okay until it becomes excessive isolation. It is really important to find the healthy balance. If you are an introvert, you have to make sure you stay honest with yourself, and keep figuring out why you are isolating yourself. When isolating excessively, it can lead to depression, and we talked about what depression can do to you in the long run last week. Stay cautious of excessive isolation!

For the extrovert… If you feel like you have to constantly be around others, it’s time to look at the reason behind it. Is it uncomfortable to be alone? Is one of the reasons avoiding your own thoughts and feelings? Here is where being an extrovert is unhealthy: There might be an issue an extrovert does not want to face, so they are trying to avoid introspection. Problems should not be avoided, and especially not by hiding in social life, and pretending like everything is going great. Deal with the problem as quickly as possible, because if you don’t, it catches up with you down the road, and most of the time as something bigger.

Finding a Healthy Balance

Now, what needs to be worked on then? It’s time to find the healthy balance. Have you heard of an ambivert before? An ambivert is someone who has a balanced mix of introversion and extroversion. You can still lean farther in one direction than the other, but it’s important to have a healthy balance. When you reach that balance, you get to enjoy the best of both worlds.

As an ambivert, you have the ability to have a listening ear like an introvert (which is so important to build deeper, healthy relationships), and still respond, and lead a conversation like an extrovert. As an ambivert, you allow yourself to depend on others, and still be independent. You get to find a healthy balance between finding time for yourself, and still socialize with others.

Actions to Take

Here is the plan this week to start working towards finding a healthy balance in our life. Start by asking yourself, so far have you been more of an introvert, or an extrovert? What are some of the attributes you recognize that had you answer that question the way you did? Do you enjoy people’s company, but are comfortable being alone as well?

As an introvert, are you being alone for self-care reasons, or is it for isolation due to other reasons? You’re the only one who can see the real reasons, so it is really important that you are honest to yourself about it. Are you isolating due to anxiety or depression, or are you along because you need to relax for a little bit, recharge or re-energize, or perhaps regroup for a second?

Extroverts, what is your motive behind wanting to be around others so much? Are you craving attention, or are you simply craving social interaction because it re-charges you? Do you desire to be around others because you’re trying to fill some kind of void you’re feeling? Is there an emptiness you’re struggling with?

The Only One that Really Knows is You

Try to answer these things for you, and start figuring out the balance for you. Next time someone ask you, whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, let them know that you are falling between those types. When someone tries to stereotype you, feel free to tell them that you don’t fit in one category or the other, that you have attributes of both.

Let me finish this week by saying EMBRACE WHO YOU ARE! Embrace yourself. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your personality type, no matter whether you’re more an introvert than an extrovert. You can’t erase who you are, but you can always learn new attributes, and add to your character. If right now for example, you like to withdraw and run during conflicts, you can learn to communicate better, and develop a voice that speaks up when you’re not okay with something.

Take your time, take this journey, and explore what benefits you… It will change your life for the good! Keep me posted 😊, let me know how it goes. And I will end it by saying: You are absolutely amazing just the way you are!!!