The new year resolution. It’s something we either love or not like very much. I guess it always depends how you look at it, right?
The fresh start of a new year is right around the corner. Have you thought about setting new goals, challenges, and accomplishments you would like to achieve for yourself yet? Now let me also ask you this, what new year resolution or resolutions have you set for yourself at the beginning of this year? And which ones have you been able to check off?
Is the New Year Resolution Good or Bad?
Here is the thing. New year resolutions are great. They can be a great thing… but sometimes we just way overdo it and take it way too seriously. That’s when we get too disappointed in ourselves for the things we haven’t accomplished, and hide in shame, all the way to where we forget what we have accomplished. But I will tell you here today, setting a new year resolution is for you. The resolutions you set, should be set for yourself. And there is absolutely no need to beat yourself up if you can’t check everything off by the end of the year.
We are about a month away from a brand new year, what goals have you set for yourself? What is something that you weren’t able to get done yet, that you would like to accomplish before the year is over?
The problem with many of our set goals is this: 1) We set them for others instead of for ourselves and 2) They are not realistic.
And that’s when we have the lack of motivation to accomplish them. That’s why one of the very important reasons in order to accomplish a new year resolution is, to set them for yourself. It’s important to know your passions, and motivations so that it keeps you going towards those goals you set for you throughout the year.
Why the New Year Resolution Fails
The new year can always be a great, fresh start. Sometimes, it feels like pushing a ‘reset’ button. However, it’s not good if we smush a bunch of unrealistic goals and cram it all the way beyond its capabilities with resolutions we just stress about later on. When doing that, we prepare ourselves for coming anxiety throughout the year. What’s the good in that?
The new year resolution or resolutions need to be chosen in a way where it’s not overwhelming. What do I mean by that? Set goals that are measurable. Set them up in small bites to take, so they can be reached. When you accomplish one or two things off that list, celebrate it. Embrace that time and moment. That let’s you know, you’re another step closer.
Try to avoid vague and broad goals. Instead, be more specific about it. We’ve all set a ‘lose so and so much weight by the end of the year…’ goal before, right? But why not set something like ‘I will start eating more fruits and vegetables for my snack instead of those chocolate bar I’m having everyday’? It’s a small first step that gets you closer to the big picture of losing that weight you’re dreaming about. If you focus on the weight loss number itself, you can get discouraged if it doesn’t change as fast as you imagined and quit due to discouragement.
It is Normal to Not Check Everything Off
When you get closer to the end of the year and notice that not everything has been checked off the list, don’t allow anxiety to jump you. Here is the thing… to fall short with some set resolutions you have set is completely okay. Forgive yourself for it. There is nothing wrong with not checking EVERYTHING off. Instead of focusing on what you didn’t get done, look at what you did do, and enjoy that to the fullest. Be proud of everything that has gotten done and changed. That is huge!
Once you decide what new year resolution you are setting for yourself, make sure it is not something out of your control. Keep in mind, you can’t fix others! That’s not what you’re here for either. It is out of your control to change the way people think, do things, or the way they live. That’s their decision to make. Just as important as it is for you to not set your goals for others, they shouldn’t be setting their goals for you either. Because if they do, it’s not legit and they won’t stick with it.
Give it Some Thought
What are some things you have been thinking about doing for yourself this coming year? Do you feel like it’s time to set boundaries you haven’t set before? Or maybe you have set boundaries, but want to set better, different, or more boundaries? Have you been wanting to say no more to things you simply don’t want to do, or get involved in?
What is it that you need at this point in time? Do you feel overwhelmed a lot lately? Almost like you have time for everyone around you, but forget to take time for yourself every now and then? Is your struggle with delegating things, or asking others for help with daily things that would allow you to have more time for something you like to do more?
If you have set goals that aren’t working that this point in time the way it is set, adjust it. Be flexible with it. There isn’t such a thing as just ‘one way’ to get to the set goal. If it doesn’t work one way, try another. Just make sure you don’t quit and give up just because it might not work at first. Stay consistent with it and simply find another way.
Time, Effort, Consistency and Patience
Always keep in mind that no matter what you are planning to set for yourself this coming year, you cannot become a different person overnight. That’s simply not realistic. It’s a process… that takes time and effort. And lots of patience on your side.
Here is an exercise I started a couple years back that helped me a lot. Please know, there are so many different things you can do, this is just an example of something that worked for me. Every year, at the end of the year, I like to sit down and draw a line throughout the middle of a paper. At the top of the two columns, I write ‘The things I want to accomplish this year’ and ‘The things I’ve accomplished throughout this year’. I start by thinking about the new year resolution or resolutions I want to set for myself. Those are being written out under the first column.
Once those goals are written out, I put that piece of paper somewhere where it’s easy to find and grab. Throughout the year, every time I reach a goal, or accomplish something (even if it’s not something on that list…), I write it out on the second column. At the end of the year, I grab that piece of paper and take a look at everything I have done and reached, and celebrate all those. If there are things that have not been checked off, but I think they are still of importance, I just simply put them on the one for the next year. And then I start the one for the coming year 😊.
Start with the Decision to Try
One more thing… Once you have written down your goals, take a little bit of time to think them through and look over them one by one. Ask yourself with each one of those: Is the set goal something I want to do for myself? How realistic is it? Is it a measurable/attainable goal? Have I set it in small enough bites for myself to reach them? And most importantly, is it something I have control over?
As you get close to the finish line of this year, step away from the stress to ‘finish the year off strong’. Instead, take a deep breath and finish it relaxed. Finish this year slowly and peaceful. Most of all, finish the year grateful. It’s the stress throughout the year we set for ourselves to constantly feel like doing, accomplishing and achieving that sets us up for anxiety. No more! Don’t try to rush next year. And when you need a break, take it. Rest when it’s needed!
Alright, that’s what I am going to end this week with. Take your time when you are getting ready to set your new year resolution for the next year. Think it through. And celebrate every little thing you will accomplish as you go. Nothing is too small of an accomplishment! I can’t wait to hear how your next year will come along. YOU GOT THIS!!!