Let me ask you, are you currently surviving and thriving? Or are you actually going from surviving into thriving? You see, surviving and thriving are not the same thing, so it is important to understand the difference to start getting away from just surviving, and slowly moving into thriving. Let me be honest, I did want to say and title it ‘from surviving into thriving’… but too many other people already used that title, so I had to be more original 😊 and try something more unique. Don’t hate, I am one in a million, and so are you 😉.
Surviving AND Thriving Do Not Go Together
There was a point in my life where ‘just surviving’ wasn’t enough for me anymore. I got tired of hardly getting by, and just surviving. Also, I saw that surviving and thriving just didn’t go together… so I had to make a choice: Surviving or thriving? And I needed help to start thriving. I wanted more than to just survive. As I got to talk to a professional therapist, she explained to me that I set myself into the survival mode at a very early time in life because that’s what I needed to do then… Survive! It is a mind set we often find ourselves in without even realizing it, because we are feeling endangered, and the fear is taking over, and we are trying to protect ourselves some way, somehow.
Surviving and thriving are nothing bad as long as you don’t stay in that mode for long. But if you want to live life to the fullest, surviving is not enough. You have to start reaching for thriving. I don’t know where you are currently standing in your life, but there are and will be moments when you will notice that you feel tired and worn out from just surviving. With surviving you are doing a lot of hard work for hardly getting by… But with thriving it’s a completely different story.
Surviving or Thriving? You Choose…
Let’s get into some meat of this. Surviving and thriving… what are we talking about here? It was interesting when I was first told that I was in survival mode, or mindset rather… I didn’t know. I didn’t think there was such a thing. Before I was told about it, I have never heard of it, so I had no idea. How was I supposed to know how to switch the mindset out of surviving into thriving? As a matter of fact, in my opinion I thought I was doing pretty good, so I didn’t even think about it… until one too many events happened, and I felt like everything that was built up broke down. The problem was that the base of things in my life weren’t built on solid good grounds. And when the winds of the life storms blew, it blew the house away.
Running from life is not an option. You have the option to protect yourself by going into survival mode, to be able to keep going. But it won’t be enough, until you are willing to face the truth, deal with it, and then you will actually start to flourish through it. You start seeing things completely different than you did before. And that’s freedom. It brings deliverance. You are worth every second, every moment to be free from past memories and experiences that were never your fault and hurt you!
What Gets You into Survival Mode
What can cause a person to go into survival mode often is a traumatic event or experience. When someone experiences or even witnesses a trauma, the brain almost always enters into the survival mode in order to be able to deal with or process the moment. It’s how a person’s body responds in order to adapt to the stress and survives the danger in the moment of the trauma.
But going into survival mode comes with consequences if we tend to stay in it for too long. The 2018 Harvard Health Publishing described it as ‘When experiencing stress, a sequence of hormonal changes and physiological responses occur in our body that allow to respond by preparing to fight, flight, or freeze’ (which we will talk about in a coming blog in more detail). When staying in the stress mode for too long, it becomes harmful (physically included). When staying in the stress mode for too long, you start seeing things a lot worse than they are, and respond to the situations much more emotional than it actually is.
But You’re Ready to Thrive Now
After hearing this, I am sure you recognize that surviving and thriving can’t both exist at the same time. When you’re in surviving mode, you are living in fear. But when you start thriving, you flourish. When thriving, you start being strong, and healthy. You start prospering… and that doesn’t always mean financially. So let’s start by asking this… Are you currently surviving, or are you thriving?
As other things in the healing journey, transitioning from surviving into thriving is not an easy challenge. But the life changes, and results from it will be absolutely worth the effort you put into it. Staying in survival just is not enough… and you deserve so much more!
How to Transition from One to the Other
Now let’s talk a little about the transitioning, and the steps to take. Of course since we’ve been in survival for so long, it currently is the comfort zone. When first recognizing that you don’t want to stay there any longer, it doesn’t feel very good, because you’re starting to step out of the comfort zone. So make the choice to do it anyway, and remind yourself that you deserve better than just surviving. It’s the very first step to reprogram, and rewire your brain. Keep in mind that wishful thinking isn’t going to be enough for it to happen, it takes action. So if there are toxic relationships holding you back, it’s time to cut it off. It’s time to let the things go that have been keeping you in the survival mode for so long.
Write down the things that are not serving you at this point in time… then make the decision, and take the action to let it go. Please, please, please keep in mind that you are not doing this for anybody else, but for yourself, because you are worth every little bit of it! Keep in mind that ‘just surviving the day’ is no longer enough for you. When you feel like running back into old ways, remind yourself of how exhausted you’ve gotten because you have been so desperate to reach your full potential, but were nowhere close to that… because surviving and thriving was not an option.
Reset and Rewire Your Way of Thinking
Commit on a daily basis to move from surviving to thriving. As you start seeing changes, celebrate them. Even if they seem really small. A small change makes a huge difference. One thing that needs to be done is to deal with the stresses and fears as they creep in. There are many techniques that can be used to do that. My therapist introduced me to the deep-breathing technique. That technique always pulls me right back into the present, and allows me to see things exactly as they are right then and there. It’s really simple to do, and has a huge impact on your stress hormones. Inhale deeply through your nose into your belly for 4 seconds, hold it for 4 seconds, and then exhale through your mouth for 8 seconds. You’ll feel an amazing release. Practice it daily, so it prepares you for when the stress hits.
Another great way to get from surviving to thriving is starting to think for pleasure. Start to fully embrace the moments when you feel good. When doing that, you start to commit to notice the smaller things in life that make you very happy. As you start noticing them more, you start making them bigger and brighter. It allows you to feel the good feeling a lot more, and allows you to fully enjoy it. You start switching your focus, and you start framing the ‘happy things and moments’ a lot more. Allow yourself to feel and experience the good, and sensational feelings when you point something out that brings you joy.
Break Lose from the Old Ways
Old patterns need to be broken in order to succeed in this. Here is one suggestion how to do it. When you recognize a trigger that brings old patterns back up, make the choice to respond differently to it this time. Try to recognize your repetitive reactions and responses from the past times when you went through it. Try to point out times when you got stuck in a feeling. And also, try to recognize extreme reactions you have had due to past traumas in your life. And as you recognize those, try to respond differently this time compared to how you automatically responded in the past to it.
As we go into this week, keep in mind that your daily psychological health is just as important as your physical health. We clean ourselves every day, and workout every day. So now it’s time to do the same for ourselves psychologically and emotionally. Remind yourself of your value. Look at yourself in the mirror this week, point to yourself and say it loud… “YOU ARE VALUABLE!”.
Keep in mind, this takes time. And you are absolutely allowed to go at your pace that works for you. You are doing this for you, and not for anybody else. This week, do something that makes you feel really good. Move your body in a way that makes you feel good (I started dancing again 5 weeks ago, once a week, and it feels so so good!). What is something you love? Even if you haven’t done it in years.
Alright guys… I am going to leave it at that for this week 😊. Have a phenomenal next week… keep going. And when the discouragement creeps in, keep reminding yourself that you got this, and that those discouragements are lies. You’ve made it this far, right? Why quit now? You are doing great, and you got this!!!
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